Dear Sister Randy,

I feel that I should give blood but I'm too squeamish. Am I perhaps sinning simply by doing nothing? Does hell await those, like myself, who fail to offer up their blood for the benefit of others?

Bloody Hell





Dear Bloody Hell,

It's not your fault! This burden lies squarely upon the shoulders of our politicians and genetic scientists. The solution lies easily within their grasp and yet they do nothing. Here is the solution I propose and I urge you to write your congressman and demand immediate action:

If we were to cross the honey gathering behavior of bees with the blood sucking behavior of mosquitoes then the blood donor crisis could be solved in a heartbeat. These versatile creatures, let's call them Beesquitoes, would venture out at night and gather blood while we sleep. Varieties of these Beesquitoes could be biologically engineered to seek specific blood types (e.g. B-pos, O-neg, WD-40, etc...). If the beesquitoe hives were located at hospitals then there would be a never-ending, constantly replenished supply of donor blood.

Somehow, through some lapse of humanity, our scientists and politicians have failed to pursue this simple and painless solution to the on-going blood donor crisis.

Amen,
Sister Randy